runs-on-reindeer:

When my sister was in the Marines some little shit told her to make him a sandwich so she went to his boss and they used money from the asshole’s next paycheck to order subs for the entire squadron

scarygoddess:

I, a big wrinkle, made all of these smaller wrinkles.

scarygoddess:

I, a big wrinkle, made all of these smaller wrinkles.

I don’t care if you’re knocked up. I’ll rip your throat out.

drunkfeferi:

jaredpadaleckijr:

imgfave:

Posted by philburt

yeah thats cute, but imagine how heartbroken he will be when he finds out it’s not real.

drunkfeferi:

jaredpadaleckijr:

imgfave:

Posted by philburt

yeah thats cute, but imagine how heartbroken he will be when he finds out it’s not real.

twerkingderp:

mishasminions:

thepassionofthefruit:

abetterfatethanwisdom:

a-black-car-pulled-up-and:

every black crayon should be named void of existential anguish black

only reblogging this for the purple one omg

pREGNANCY TEST BLUE

MORAL AMBIGUITY GRAY

bong water brown
hahahaha

twerkingderp:

mishasminions:

thepassionofthefruit:

abetterfatethanwisdom:

a-black-car-pulled-up-and:

every black crayon should be named void of existential anguish black

only reblogging this for the purple one omg

pREGNANCY TEST BLUE

MORAL AMBIGUITY GRAY

bong water brown

hahahaha

troublesneglectyou:

Typical music major practice room

troublesneglectyou:

Typical music major practice room

spoopyshivers:

spoopyshivers:

why do old people read the bible so much

i asked the old guy standing in front of me at the post office and he said “it’s because we’re cramming for finals”

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

“You look so healthy!” is a great one.

Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”

“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

(via blueoctoberstar)

clubpenguln:

SCHOOL IS SOON

image

THAT MEANS HOMEWORK

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RESPONSIBILITIES

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extraordinary-british-gentleman:

weedhitler:

fun prank: replace your kid’s weed with opposite weed so when they smoke it it makes them go to business school and get a degree in lawyer

Ah yes a degree in lawyer.

madokaandthediamonds:

"what if i started tagging things" i say to myself for the 1000th time

Yuri is great
God probably (via crunkawaii)